I can see my thin body

I think I'm down 8 pounds from the start of the meds but down 16 from the start of the year. At the beginning of the year I was about 250 and lost 8 pounds up to about September, then started on the new meds for another 8. I'm 234 at last weigh in and I think I've dropped another pound since then (a week and a half). I'm not feeling as speedy and there are fewer nights when I'm awake for an hour in the middle of the night. The appetite suppressant quality of this is still as effective. I crave proteins.

I'm a full 50+ pounds overweight, if I were 180 (50 pounds south) an argument could be made that I was carrying extra weight, but I don't think I'll see college weight of 160, nor do I think that's a good goal. When you're that thin at this age you look gaunt.

This weight is still firmly in 'fat guy' territory for my height (5'10") but I can really start to see my body differently, especially in profile.

For the first time I can look down and see the thin guy inside, and I can feel him in there. Someone meeting me for the first time would still think 'fat guy' because of the bulk in my gut. That won't change until I get to around 210 or so. At that point I'll be out of 'fat' territory because my belly won't be so prominent. I'll still bulge a little but no more than almost every other guy I know, most of whom are in 'paunch' territory.

When I get to that point I will become essentially invisible. From a perspective of how I want to perceive myself that's a big milestone -- just one of the crowd in terms of size, nothing remarkable. There is a good chance I'll end up weighing less than the peers that I am heavier than now, and I would have to admit to a certain ego pride if that happened.

That attitude is probably not very enlightened, and I've never, ever been made to feel unaccepted by my peers, but I've noticed, and I don't like it. Having this weight is a result of the bad choices that I made and the lifestyle that I lived for many years, which was about gratification.

I'm embarrassed about that now, but its the past and we learn as quickly as we can learn. I've done the best I can and I'm making progress, which is the best any of us can ever do. The arrow is pointing in the right direction and there is forward movement.

I'm very satisfied with how walking is going, I'm up to 2.5 miles on a walk and doing that multiple times per week.